How to relax sex

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What do most people say they want from sex? After thirty years of working with couples, Dr. Marty Klein knows: Some combination of pleasure and closeness. But unfortunately, that's not what people think about during sex. Instead they worry about how they look, what their partner is thinking, what move they should attempt next. This constant self-monitoring takes all of the fun and closeness out of sex, and makes us feel like it is one more area where we have to perform. No wonder so many people stop doing it!

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Whether you're a woman or a man, you might have experienced sexual anxiety over the years.

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My dad would put me under so much pressure and I'd crack. It's the same emotion now when I think about my sexual performance! Oh, but before we start, please let's not get all Freudian with thoughts of 'shooting' and such. Performance anxiety - whether it's on the rifle range when you're 15 or in the bedroom when you're 25 - feels the same.

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